World Pineapple Day
by marshmallow.dtk
Summary: Why there ISN'T a World Pineapple Day... A Hibari-centric sorta-crack fic. Rated T due to language. EDIT: Adding sequel soon!


**WORLD PINEAPPLE DAY IS COMING (run Hibari run, don't ever look back!!!) An 18 CRACKFIC!**

**I really have nothing to say, other than THANK YOU AMANO-SENSEI FOR CREATING SO MANY BISHIES FOR OUR FANDOM!**

**Thank the world for pineapples and Hibari3**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Hibari hated pineapples.

Yes, he despised these treacherous, mysterious fruits. They were dangerous, SO VERY dangerous. Perhaps it was the shape of the seemingly innocent fruit, or the flavour. Or it could even be the extreme resemblance to an extremely hated person's hairstyle (Oh, we wonder). But either way, Hibari stayed far away from pineapples, just as how he stayed away from Sakura (oh so very dangerous flowers indeed).

In that case then.

Why in the world was there one ON HIS GODDAMN DOORSTEP?!?

"..."

Hibari stared at the fruit near his feet for a while. Who in the world would _dare _send a pineapple to him? They obviously did not understand the full consequences of this unfortunate action that had been taken this very morning. He was about to kick the pineapple off his doorstep when he realised there was a note on the pineapple.

_HA. Ridiculous herbivores. Leaving a note makes it all the more easier to track them down and bite them to de-_

He paused in his thinking as he stared at the bright yellow note, his eyes wide with shock. This particular herbivore's handwriting was extremely messy, but legible enough to make out the large words at the top:

"CEL...BRA...E...WO...LD...PIN...AP...LE...DAY."

Celebrate World Pineapple Day.

...

CELEBRATE WORLD PINEAPPLE DAY?!

What. The hell.

It was for real? There was such a thing as world pineapple day? Hibari crushed the note in his hand in frustration. Ever since he had met THAT guy he'd developed a slight allergy to pineapples, which just contributed further to his hate for the fruit. He couldn't stand it; even seeing a pineapple from across the street would make him want to bite the nearest THING to death for no reason whatsoever. (usually he DOES have reasons for being violent, such as people crowding. Pineapples just make him more violent.)

And now there was going to be a CELEBRATION. A festival held specially for pineapples.

Worst. Morning. Ever.

* * *

_Pineapple festival...pineapple festival..._

The cloud guardian stared at the piece of crumpled paper in his hand. After much consideration he'd decided to read the entire message.

"Celebrate World Pineapple Day! It's a day where people can go around wearing pineapple accessories, clothes, and even hairstyles! Enjoy pineapple cocktails and do the samba along with the pineapple dance amid all of us! But before that, you can first enjoy this free pineapple and join in the fun later! Experience ten times the enjoyment with us on World Pineapple Day! YAY!"

He couldn't help himself from facepalming after reading it.

As Hibari reached the school gates Kusakabe immediately stopped him to pass him some urgent news.

Oh. So apparently World Pineapple Day was established just this year.

And the celebrations would be held in Namimori high.

AND it would be celebrated the next day. Which was tomorrow.

Wasn't that such wonderfully refreshing news.

_(Yeah, must've totally made Hibari's day.)_

Oh, how he wished he could declare that World Pineapple Day was non-existent and pretend that nothing ever happened. But he did not have the power to change something that was internationally celebrated! It looked as though he'd have to tolerate that day...Or maybe he'd even skip school-

NO! NEVER! Hibari bit his own lip to prevent himself from thinking about that very thought. Terrible, he thought. That would never happen. He wouldn't allow it. He'd rather face tomorrow head-on.

For once, the most powerful guardian was feeling quite...not so powerful.

_Damn._

Well, that was tomorrow. For today he would just have to continue with his life and bite EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN PERSON WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THE PLANNING OF WORLD PINEAPPLE DAY to death. Oh feel the wrath, FEEL IT-

Back in his office, he was thinking of plans to avoid having to celebrate the next day without a trace of pineapple anywhere near him when the newspapers came.

_**(A.N. Sorry, I can just imagine Kusakabe handing to Hibari newspapers on a silver platter every morning, saying, "Kyou-san, your newspapers..."**_

_**I mean, it's so possible right! You can imagine it too!)**_

Anyway, after finishing with the morning report and the report from yesterday with nothing else to do, he flipped open to the first page of the papers.

He saw an apple advertisement on the first page. He was fine with that.

He saw an orange advertisement on the second page. He skipped it.

He saw a pineapple advertisement on the third page and burned to newspapers.

But not before tearing our an article on "school discipline", of course.

Why was he seeing pineapples everywhere? It felt like a bad omen. Like WPD was tormenting him...tormenting...

The worst had yet to come, though.

Hibari decided to step out and try to figure out a way to commemorate the next day without having to commemorate anything. He opened the door and froze.

"..."

_What. The. Hell._

The entire corridor was covered in "CELEBRATE WORLD PINEAPPLE DAY TOMORROW!" posters. Not a single inch of wall had been left out, and the place was now filled with pictures of pineapples of all shapes and sizes. Not to mention colour.

Apparently nobody in the school knew about his extreme hate for pineapples.

It had been the last DAMN FREAKING STRAW. He would ERADICATE this STUPID day once and for all and no RIDICULOUS WORLD CONFERENCE would stop him.

Just then, Tsuna appeared from around the corner with Gokudera running behind him.

_(LOL perfect timing, the two of you...)_

"Ne, you two..."

Tsuna immediately stopped running and turned to face the really angry disciplinary committee chairperson.

"A-Ah! Hibari-san! I didn't do anything (except for running in the corridors), so don't bite me to death-"

"JUUDAIME!!!" Gokudera caught up with him and spun around. "You! What're you trying to do with Juudaime? If you harm him I-I'll-"

"Were the two of you part of this conspiracy?"

"EHHH?" The Vongolian boss-to-be stared at the direction Hibari had pointed at. Which was actually kind of THE ENTIRE CORRIDOR. He gulped.

"AH! No, Hibari-san! We're not part of the committee in charge of publicising World Pineapple Day! We weren't involved-"

Hibari pulled out his tonfas. "It doesn't matter. I'll bite you both to death to set an example."

"HIEEEEEE?!?"

"JUUDAIME!!!" Gokudera was somehow pulled into it as well...

The rest of the day was spent seeking out the organising committee and 'setting examples'. AKA biting everyone involved to death...

Later that day, a message was sent all over the world: IF YOU CELEBRATE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PINEAPPLES (EXCEPT FOR PIZZA), HIBARI'LL BITE YOU ALL TO DEATH.

It was translated into 30 different languages to let the world hear the warning.

And perhaps this is the reason why World Pineapple Day got cancelled, and was destined never to exist.

EVER.

_FINITO-----_

* * *

**Haha I went to check, and I don't think there's such a thing as World Pineapple DayXD And why spare pizza, huh...I guess it's the only thing that I don't mind with pineapple slices. I don't like anything else with pineapplesXP **

**So yeah! It's another cracky story! **

**Hope it was stupid enough to make you smile:)**


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